Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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