I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
