I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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