if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.