I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand