she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I pour the whiskey from now on
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
