i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize