Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
ugly people sure do ruin things
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
