Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
