She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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