lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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