Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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