Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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