yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
