i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
