Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
40s are totally the cure
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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