And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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