we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize