i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
