remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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