we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
