"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Screwed.edu
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
