oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
