Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have fence marks all over my body
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
