Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
