I hope mine doesn't look like that
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
