I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
where does the pee come out of this thing
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She bit a glass in half.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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