I'm eating all of the evidence.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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