So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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