so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So squirting runs in the family.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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