Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
