Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
