if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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