wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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