is your mom at the bar?
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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