Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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