was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
