I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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