HIV tests are more positive than that guy
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
