Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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