Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
