First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
