I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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