I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
