I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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