She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
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