CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
