I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
