I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
