I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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