she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
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