At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
