Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize