Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
