Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she smelled like a LAN party
im holly from the hills drunk
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
whose parrot is this?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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