THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
