so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
